i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
