Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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