i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
