she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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