well I can't set my house on fire every night
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
