So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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