Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
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