fuck your aforementioned shoe
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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