You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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