hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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