At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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