Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize