fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
