I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
