I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
