the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
