i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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