Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
