Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
