It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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