PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Acid is not a monday night drug
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
