I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize