i will never coherently bang her
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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