Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
