Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
