Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize