Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
