i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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