Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
