The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'm lost and stupid without you.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
