he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
