I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
