Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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