Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
