I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I FOUND THE LEGS
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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