Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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