He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
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