everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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