Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I think your dad took our porno
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
