i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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