Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
there is glitter all over my balls
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
