I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Oh god it's open bar.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
