She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
