currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize