Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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