vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
