Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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