Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
