ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
