turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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