Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
