I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
