D3 body, D1 cock
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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