Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
