I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Drunk walkin through police station. America
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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