is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Randomize
