i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
