Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize