you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
