I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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