Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
