Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
