I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
