That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
