Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
