Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
