Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
