Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
