We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
