Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You may now shotgun with the bride
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Randomize
